Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
