I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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