I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
