I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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