So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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