that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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