I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
