so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
