In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
