im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
