It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
