The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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