he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
