and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
