why do cheetos always look like penises
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
