he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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