God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
