I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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