I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
