we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
