summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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