Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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