If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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