I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
