Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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