I just saw a hot homeless man
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
