I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
