the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
