it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
