Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
