Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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