one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
