i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
