I wish I could punch you in the face.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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