if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
