i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
