you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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