I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
