Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
