I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
