before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
