he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
