I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
