I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
