i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
