i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
