school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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