dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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