we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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