Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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