I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
